


Half of Me

by massuneko



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 09:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11941605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/massuneko/pseuds/massuneko
Summary: Ravi spent hundreds and hundreds of years, endless cycle of death and rebirth, chasing for the person who held the other half of his soul.





	Half of Me

The deep blue eyes had turned dark brown, but the way they stared straight into his soul still hadn’t changed in a bit, so he had no objection. There was no single objection too, about how the freckles that used to spread across his face like dark stars on his milky white skin disappeared without a trace, leaving only a few beauty marks. After all, the way his wavy black hair waved with the wind, and the alluring pink lips remained the same. Really, Wonshik found it hard to find any objection about Taekwoon’s current appearance.

Especially after he spent hundreds and hundreds of years, countless death and rebirth cycling over and over again, to once again meet the person he gave half of his soul to.

He didn’t say a single word about it, though. No, heavens forbid. He knew that if he said something as absurd as past life and stuffs, Taekwoon would probably think that he’s a freak and got away from him. So Wonshik tried his best to start off as a stranger, to be just a customer and an admirer of this skillful barista and his beautiful latte art. He could sit at that coffee shop all day long, typing the story of his past life in form of online novel while sneaking some glances, letting the memories resurfaced and felt like it had just happened.

Things changed a little when he got an offer to publish the printed version of it. He found no problem with that, thinking that some extra money didn’t sound bad at all, especially when he was running pretty low with his income as cafe singer. When the launching event was held, he was mildly surprised with the public interest. Long queue line formed at the signing event, and he felt as if his wrist could fall anytime from the amount of books he signed.

Then, when he looked up to look at the next person in line, he was met with Taekwoon’s shy smile. Wonshik could feel his heart fluttering. The smile that had almost falter from exhaustion was then fully bloomed again.

“Can you sign it for ‘Jung Taekwoon’?” asked Taekwoon.

“Okay, to Jung Taekwoon,” replied Wonshik as he wrote down the name and added his signature below it. Then, he also added a message, _‘Thank you for all the delicious latte you made’_ and drew a small coffee cup beside it.

He could see the tip of Taekwoon’s ears went red upon reading the message.

Really, Wonshik had nothing to complain at all.

* * *

The cool and dark bedroom felt unfamiliar, as well as the soft pillow and bed, although he was sleeping in his own room, on his own bed. Taekwoon still felt disoriented somehow, after dreaming about a colorful spring, lying down on the bed of grass side by side with the one he held dear in his heart. He never managed to see that person’s face for the past twenty years of his life dreaming it, but lately the figure seemed to have a certain novelist’s face.

He didn’t know whether it’s just his imagination or not, but the story in Wonshik’s novel matched with the one he saw in his dreams, only told in different point of view. If Wonshik wrote it from the side of the music and literature deity, Ravi, Taekwoon saw it from the side of the human whom he loved, Leo. Everything matched perfectly like two fitting puzzles, and Taekwoon wondered ever since if there was some sort of connection between him and Wonshik.

Some sort of connection, that could explain why they saw the same thing in their mind, and why they shared the same scar-like birthmark over their left chest.

Taekwoon asked about his scar to his mother once, asking whether he got into accident or some sort when he was little. His mother said that he had it since forever, since the day he was born. He never really questioned it again, until one time when he felt stalkery enough to scroll through Wonshik’s Instagram and a picture of him topless before he had his signature YOLO tattoo on the left chest.

There were comments asking about that scar. Wonshik’s reply was a simple, _‘it’s not a scar, but a birthmark’_.

Slender fingers ran along the jagged outline of the birthmark on his chest as his thoughts and focus returned to the room around him. He made a silent promise that one day, when they were close enough to talk about random things in life, he would tell Wonshik about the birthmark and the dream.

* * *

Whether it’s coincidence or fate or whatever, Taekwoon and Wonshik ran into each other at the backstage of the cafe, as both of them were waiting for their turn to perform. After a short conversation, they learned that for the past few months they had been working at the same cafe, only usually at different time. They both happened to change their schedule due to different reason—Wonshik’s reason coming from his tour schedule as a popular novelist, while Taekwoon’s reason coming from another part-time job he took for extra financial support.

Either way, it let them to meet behind the stage, chatting lightly as they were waiting for their turn to perform. Taekwoon usually came up first, soothing the crowd with his clear voice and high notes, before Wonshik stepped up and shake the night with his colorful rap. Taekwoon would always stay to watch, finding himself falling more and more at this charismatic and talented person before his eyes.

At some point, Wonshik asked if Taekwoon would want to perform a duet with him. Not long after that proposal, they were mostly seen performing together. Wonshik even went as far as writing and composing some original songs, letting Taekwoon to spend even more time together with him.

It was one of the nights when Taekwoon came over to Wonshik’s apartment for some dinner and singing practice. They moved to the soft couch after agreeing that they needed some rest, since practicing blindly until morning wouldn’t bring them good result after all. Wonshik took over half of the couch, lying down with his legs hanging out from the armrest. He looked so close from sleeping right then right there, blinking slowly as he hummed random melodies, struggling to stay awake.

Taekwoon took the space at the other end of the couch, leaning and practically sinking into the soft cushion. He looked down to Wonshik, listening to the melodies, then joined in the humming. Somehow, he just know how to continue, where to make variations and such, as if he had known that song since forever. He felt really peaceful like that, closing his eyes slowly as he let the image of colorful and warm summer engulfed him whole.

The peaceful situation was only broken when he realized that Wonshik wasn’t humming anymore. He could hear sharp and shaky breathing instead, and he opened his eyes to Wonshik covering his face with one arm. The tears that was slowly trickling down from the gap between his eyes and arm didn’t slip away from Taekwoons gaze, making his stomach stirred uncomfortably.

“Wonshik,” called Taekwoon softly, “Wonshik, are you okay?”

There was long exhale before Wonshik lifted his arm, snorting and trying to wipe away the falling tears. He looked so fragile it’s beautiful, to the point that Taekwoon felt guilty for even think about it. “I’m okay,” said Wonshik with breathy voice, “Just a little tired, that’s all.”

Taekwoon reached out to ran his fingers through Wonshik’s hair, patting softly to make him felt a little better. Wonshik sighed contently to his touch, and Taekwoon felt grateful that Wonshik didn’t try to push him away.

Then, before he could stop himself, Taekwoon turned his body and leaned down to place a soft kiss on Wonshik’s lips. It was brief, a faint touch against the chapped lips, but it was enough to throw Wonshik off completely. He stared wide-eyed at Taekwoon, who was still leaning down on him, blush spreading across his beautiful face.

As if just realizing what he had just done, Taekwoon stood up abruptly, frantically picking up his stuffs in his effort to leave as fast as he could. But as he tried to reach for his coat, Wonshik reacted faster, snatching it away from the chair it was draped at, causing Taekwoon to turn towards him.

The next thing Taekwoon could register was Wonshik’s lips on his, while his strong hands held his neck and waist firmly in place. He went stiff for a moment, but then dropped whatever he held in his hands to circle his arms around Wonshik’s shoulders, tilting his head and parting his lips as an invitation.

He felt that he mostly blacked out afterwards, waking up to Wonshik snoring loudly against his bare chest. It was probably one of the nights when he could sleep peacefully, without any dream haunting him. But of course, what’s the use of a dream if the one he dreamed of was right in front of his eyes?

Taekwoon stayed there despite having nothing that locked him in place. He nuzzled to the mop of light purple, fingers stroking it gently. There was a faint memory of them staying in such situation. It was probably from one of Taekwoon’s dreams, far-off memories he had yet fully grasped, but it was enough to made his heart fluttered in joy.

The only thing that pushed him to leave the coziness of Wonshik’s warmth and the soft bed was the growling sound of his own stomach. He lifted Wonshik’s head carefully, slipping a pillow under his head, not wanting to disturb Wonshik’s peaceful sleep. He found his discarded clothes all over the floor, and he only bothered to pick his brief and shirt, putting them on before slipping out from the bedroom to find something to eat.

With some afterthought, Taekwoon decided that he should cook something for Wonshik as well, although he still didn’t know when he’d wake up. He was still in the middle of cooking when he heard loud thumping noises from the bedroom, and he turned just in time to see Wonshik’s half-asleep-half-panicked face while he slammed the door open. The beginning sound of Taekwoon’s name died out when Wonshik saw him standing in the kitchen.

“Morning,” greeted Taekwoon lightly. He could see how relieved Wonshik was, knowing that Taekwoon hadn’t left. Then, slowly, Wonshik crouched down while leaning to the doorframe. Concerned, Taekwoon turned off the stove and walked over to him.

“Wonshik, are you okay?” asked Taekwoon as he crouched down as well. Wonshik looked up at him with pained grin.

“My butt hurts and my hips feels like death,” replied Wonshik. Taekwoon chuckled and gave him a brief kiss on his forehead.

“Then don’t move around too much. Just get dressed and stay in bed. I’ll bring the breakfast to you,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik nodded at the suggestion, not seeing any objection in that. With Taekwoon’s support, he stood up again and returned to bed.

Just before Taekwoon returned to the kitchen, Wonshik said, “Thank you for staying here with me.”

Taekwoon’s reply was a warm smile and a soft, “You’re welcome.”

* * *

As their relationship progressed, Wonshik felt just how much memories returning to him like great flood. The sweet memories were good, but he was also starting to remember the bitter ones. It pained him so, since he knew that there’s no guarantee that it wouldn’t be repeated. If he were to lose Taekwoon again, he wouldn’t know what to do next. He didn’t even know if he could go through hundreds and hundreds of years of waiting again, repeating the cycle of life and death alone or compromising with whatever was available for him at that time.

Still, he hid all those fear and worries behind a bright smile. He could always cry alone; he’s used to it. But Taekwoon deserved his best side, his happy side. So although in some nights he would jolt up from the bitter memories, gasping for air as he felt the old wound in his chest throbbed painfully, he would hide it all from Taekwoon.

Or he thought he could.

One morning, after calming down from a particularly gruelling dream, Wonshik faintly heard a knock on his door. He opened it without much thought, not even minding that he looked horrible with the damp cheeks, red eyes, and disheveled hair. As the door swung opened, he felt like his heart stopped for a second. Taekwoon was standing there, slightly out of breath, and looking more concerned than anything.

“Taek—”

Wonshik didn’t even have the chance to finish his words as Taekwoon rushed forward, practically clashing their lips together. He felt more eager than usual, and for a second he wondered about it, but it was flushed down along with his blood as he felt Taekwoon’s thigh between his, pushing up teasingly.

Somehow they made it to the couch, Taekwoon palming Wonshik through his sweatpants as he planted kisses along Wonshik’s chest. It took Wonshik a while until he realized that Taekwoon was mostly focused on the tattoo splayed there, covering the scar— _birthmark_ he got.

Taekwoon sat up again, taking off his own shirt and tossing it randomly. Wonshik saw the mark he left a very long time ago, the one identical to his own, the only proof of his sacrifice. Taekwoon took one of Wonshik’s hand, placing it over the mark, letting his fingers brushed against it.

“I know, Wonshik,” whispered Taekwoon, so softly it almost missed Wonshik’s ears. “I can feel it too. I saw what you saw.”

Wonshik looked up to see Taekwoon in the eyes, the dark brown eyes that seemed to overlap with the deep blue. He felt his heart sank, mind running with so many thoughts he got completely lost. Seeing how Wonshik seemed distracted, Taekwoon leaned down again to caress his cheeks and rained his face with kisses. There was unspoken _‘I’m sorry’_ in each of those, for the times his past self pushed Ravi away because of his own selfishness, his own insecurities that Ravi didn’t love him as much as he proclaimed.

When Taekwoon pulled away eventually, he could see relief written all over Wonshik’s face. A hand rested at his nape, gently bringing him down once again, letting their lips melded slowly as their bodies were pressed flush against each other.

* * *

Listening to Wonshik’s side of the story really helped Taekwoon to completely understand the situation. When he said that he knew to Wonshik before, he was only referring to the dream they both saw that night. It took a lot of latte, gentle kisses and loving caresses for Wonshik to finish his story.

After he listened to everything, he thought that he’s the lucky one, for being able to forget everything. Wonshik also ended up telling the stories when he got so desperate he tried to compromise with other people, sometimes hoping that the person was actually Leo’s incarnation.

“It seems that I’ve made you suffer,” said Taekwoon, apology heavy in his voice. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head.

“I chose this. And I forced it to you,” replied Wonshik lightly. Taekwoon ran his fingers along Wonshik’s cheek, heart fluttering a little when Wonshik leaned to his touch.

“But unlike you, I don’t remember. At least, in this lifetime, I don’t remember anything from the past, save for the one when I was Leo. I barely have any burden,” said Taekwoon. “I can’t even be sure that I’ve gone through as many cycles of rebirth as you.”

“Still—”

Taekwoon silenced whatever argument Wonshik had with his own lips. He could feel Wonshik stiffened at first, before he finally relaxed and sighed contently. He didn’t lean back too far after he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Wonshik’s and let the tip of their noses brushed.

“So what’s going to happen to us now?” asked Taekwoon, voice so soft it’s practically a whisper. “What do you want to do?”

Wonshik sighed, eyes fluttering closed as he remembered the regret and anguish he felt when he, as Ravi, let go of Leo’s warm hands, and only got to hold them again when they’d grown as cold as ice. He wouldn’t forget the pain as he reached inside himself, forcefully ripped his soul in half, bending the flow of nature to fit his will. He refused to follow the stupid rule that said human souls could only be reborn three times. No, he wanted more than three lifetimes, four lifetimes—he wanted to spend hundreds and thousands of lifetimes with Leo, growing up and dying together, pulling and finding each other as the two half of souls called for each other.

“I want to stay with you, if that’s allowed,” sighed Wonshik, opening his eyes slowly as the tears pooled in his eyes, threatening to fall in any moment. Taekwoon nodded a little, humming softly.

“Sounds like a good idea,” agreed Taekwoon. There was a long silence before he added softly, “It’ll be nice if we can continue to find each other like this.”

Wonshik chuckled. “That will be very, very nice.”

* * *

The voice blasting on the speaker of the nearby billboard halted his steps. His wavy hair was blonde this time, and he had taken the stage name ‘Leo’ since that name had been sitting at the back of his memory since forever. He stared at the screen with wide eyes, mouth gaping a little because he recognized that face, that voice.

“Ravi…” he whispered, before the screen even showed the freshly debuted rapper’s name. The screen displayed a date and time of his showcase and fansign, and Leo didn’t even waste a second to register through his phone.

When the day of the fansign came, instead of Ravi’s first album, Leo handed out an old novel. The pages had turned yellow with some brown spots in it, but it was still in a good condition anyway.

“Can you sign it for ‘Leo’?” he asked.

Ravi smiled sweetly as he opened the first page, adding his signature beside the one that spelled ‘Kim Wonshik’. “Okay, for Leo,” he said.

Ravi handed back the book, and when Leo opened it, there was a small note added under the signature.

_‘Thank you for finding me this time around’_

**Author's Note:**

> To be completely honest, this was supposed to be something really long but then it became too long I ended up scrapping most of it and tried to compromise with this. Hopefully this isn't too bad. Also. I know that Ravi's actual birthmark that got covered with tattoo is on his upper arm.


End file.
